Nazari A Kan Yaudarar Samari Da ‘Yan Mata A Garin Malumfashi

     Takardar ƙara wa juna sani da aka gabatar a ajin ALH 400: Seminars, a Sashen Nazarin Harsuna Da Aladu, Jamiar Tarayya Gusau, Nijeriya, (2022/2023 Academic Session).

    Federal University Gusau (FUG) Nigeria

    Nazari A Kan Yaudarar Samari Da Yan Mata A Garin Malumfashi

    DAGA

    AUWAL TIJJANI

    LAMBAR WAYA: 08144321298

    EMAIL: auwaltijjani2010@gmail.com

    TSAKURE

    Wannan mukala tamu ta mayar da hankali ne akan bincike a fagen yaudara tsakanin Yanmata da Samari, domin nazartar wasu al’umma domin tattaunawa don jin ra’ayin Yanmata da sanin dalilan da ke kawota. Dabara ta biyu an yi amfani da rubutattun kagaggun labarai gurare daban-daban domin a samu ingantaccen sakamako a bincike

    GABATARWA

    Soyayyar gaskiya ba ta karewa koda kin samu sabon masoyi, dadin soyayyar da mukayi a baya ita zataci gaba da farautarki harya zuwa kareshen rayuwarki. Ha’inci na tunanin mutum kuma yana iya zama tauyema wani hakkin da yake dashi akanka, kabawa wani bada saninsa ba, kana iya kasa gane abinda kakeyi, amma wanda kake yi wa laifi ya matukar jin zafi a ransa

    1.1 DABARUN BINCIKE

    Domin dora wannan bincike ga sahihiyar hanya ne, ya sa akayi amfani da hanyoyin tattara bayanai kamar haka

    1. Nazarin ayyukan da duk suka gabata

    2. Takaitaccen nazarin kundayen bincike-bincike da mukalu

    3. Nemo bayanai ta hanyar fira da al’umma

    4. Karance-karance a bugaggun kagaggun labarai

    2.0 MA’ANAR YAUDARA

    Yaudara shi ne mutum ya nuna wata manufa ko siffa a zahiri wanda ba ita ce a zuciyar shi ba domin biyan bukatar kansa wanda hakan ke iya zama cutarwa ga wanda aka yi mawa. Kaso mutum a zahiri amma a badini ba ka son shi, mutum ya amince maka kaci amanarsa. Yaudara ita ce nuna soyayya ga samari fiye da daya ki tara samari da dama wai kowanne akan zaki aure shi. Saurayi ya bayyana soyayya a gun mata da yawa, Bazawara, Budurwa da sauransu da nufin duk yana soyayya dasu.

    2.1 MISALIN YAUDARA  

    1 Kanan soyayyaya da yarinya, ka dauke ta ka cusa a zuciyar ka ka ba ta amana fiye da kima ka yarda da ita, ta sanya maka doka kaki kula kowace sai ita kadai amma ita a zuciyar ta tana hangen wani can daban basanka take yi ba tsakani da Allah.

    2. Saurayi mai yawan zuwa wajen yan mata, yau ya je gurin Aisha gobe ya je wajen Hadiza ya ce mata sunan sa Kamal dayar kuma yace sunan sa Amir haka yake duk gurin wadda ya je, yace da aure yake san ta

    3. Wani salon yaudara ga wani saurayi yanda ya bayyana yan matansa kamar haka

     Zan auri Fatima, gashi mun shuku da Rukayya, sai dai kuma haryanzu Amira tana kirana a waya, kai Bilkisu ma fa tana kaunata, koda yake Sadiya ta aiko min da Wasika, Zainab kuma ta yi min alkawarin umara, Khadijah tace idan bani ba sai rijiya, Suwaiba ma fa ina son ta wallahi, ita kuma Nafisa jiya har gidan mu ta zo, kunyar Hafsat nake ji wallahi, ban kyautama Asma’u ba, Zaliha ba ta da lafiya sanadiyyar soyayyata, Husna har kuka ta yi jiya saboda an zageni, na samu labarin Jamila ta gudu saboda za a aura mata wani ban ni ba, wayyo Allah Humaira kina raina, Rabi ta take wani saboda ni, Hajara kamar ta samu tabin hankali saboda soyyata, Surraiya ta suma saboda naji ciwo a filin wasa, gashi Lubabatu ta shiga uwa duniya saboda ni, iyalan gidan su Farida har gidan mu su ka zo suka sameni jama’a ya zan yi

    4. San abin duniya shima yana sa yaudara musamman mace zata samu saurayi mai sai da takalmi suna soyayya, tana soyayya da mai saida kayan kwaidai irin su Kaza, Doya da Kwai shima suna soyyaya don kowane da irin kalar salon yaudarar da zata yi mashi dan kowane tana bashi lokacin yin fira da shi

    5. Wasu iyayan na sa ayi yaudara su tilasta yarinya yin soyyaya da samari da yawa domin kwadayin abin duniya

    6. Irin sunayen da Yanmata ke anfani da su wajen sanyama samarin da suke yaudara misali Wawana, Sakona, ATM, Gaja, Gurgu.

    3.0 SIFFOFIN SAMARI DA YAN MATA MAYAUDARA

    Abu ne mai matukar wahalar gaske kagane mayaudara sakamakon abu ne a cikin zuciya kuma sun kware wajen shirya tilan da tsarin kalamai masu dadi da sanyaya rai a cikun soyyaya domin kar a ganesu. Amma duk da haka akwai alamomin da zaka gane mayaudaran yan matan da samari misali namiji zai iya cewa kibari saina na kamala gini na sannan ki bayyyana ni a cikin gidan ku kowa ya sanni. Mace ita kuma idan saurayi yana san ya turo gidan su da kudin aure sai tace kabari na kamala karatu kuma akwai bikin yayata sannan nawa amma ka kwantar da hankalinka nan da shekara uku sannan muyi auren mu kaga kaima ka kara natsawa sosai

    3.0 TUBALIN GINA YAUDARA

    1. Karya

    2. Rashin kunya

    3. Cin amana

    4. Munafunci

    5. Karya alkawari

    6. Butulci

    7. Ha’inci

    8. Rantsuwa akan karya

     Wallahi wallahi babu wanda zai yi yaudara face ya aikata wadannan abubuwan da na lissafo a sama, ashe kenan yaudara babar siffa ce ta yan wuta, kuma ba ta mutanen kirki bace ba, ba akarbar shaidar mayaudari ba’a ruwanto hakan a hadasi daga gareshi ba.

    3.1 ILLOLIN YAUDARA

     1. Gurbata tarbiyya

     2. Kwarewa da maganganun batsa

     3. Bata tarihin gida

     4. Nadama ko da na sani

     5. Shiga mugun hali

     6. Barin gaskiya a koma ma karya

     7. Zubar da mutunci

     8. Rashin ganin kowa da mutunci

    4.0 MA’ANAR SOYAYYA

    Hakikanin gaskiya soyayya ita ce abu mafi girma da dauka da Allah ya sakama bayinsa a junan su domin da ba don soyayya ba to da babu kowa kuma babu komai a sararin duniyar nan. Dandanon zakin soyayya yakan iya kawar da duk wani daci da bauri da zai wanzu a zukatan masoya. Yin fice wajen fanin soyayya ya kunshi iya sarrafa soyayyar ita kanta soyayyar ta hanyar shagwaba, kissa, salo, iya tsara kalamai masu sanyaya rai.

    4.1 NAU’OIN SOYAYYA

     1. Soyayya don Allah

     2. Soyayya don kudi

     3. Son Rakumin Yara

     4. Soyayya saboda ilimi

     5. Soyayya saboda kyawun halitta

    4.1.1 Soyayya don Allah

     Ita soyayya domin Allah zakaga a kowane hali mutum yake masoyiyarsa ko masoyinta bazasu guje ma juna ba kuma akwai tausayi a tsakaninsu da kyakkyawar fahimta ko da bait aba komai ba a haka zakaga ta like masa. ba ta damu da wani abun duniya ba saidai kuma duk muninta bazai kalleshi ba haka kawai yana son ta don Allah ne

    4.1.2 Soyayya don kudi

     Idan mutum yana da kudi zaita ganin tarin yanmata kowace ma son shi takeyi saboda kwadayin dukiyarsa, ita tana tsoron talauci shima namiji idan yaga yarinya diyar wani babban mai kudi sai ya kulla soyayya da ita domin idan ubanta ya mutu a ba ta gatanta su cinye tare.

    4.1.3 Son Rakumin Yara

     Ita soyayya ce wadda take faruwa a cikin wani dan karamin lokaci, zakaga an yi saboda a cikin yan mintuna a daidai lokacin da zakaji mutum ya shiga ranka amma wannan abun ba mai dorewa bane ba. Misali haduwar mota, haduwa wajen biki, haduwa kasuwa, haduwa a makaranta sai kaga tarayyar ta yanke a cikin dan lokaci kowa ya kama gabansa.

    4.1.4 Soyayya saboda ilimi

     Tabbas idan Allah ya baiwa Dan Adam ilimi yana samun masoya a duk inda ya shiga musamman a makarantar Addini ko ta Zamani, zakaga Yanmata suna bin saurayi yana koya masu karatu da tarin abokai, itama mace idan tanada ilimi kawaye kala kala zatayi domin wannan ilimin da Allah ya bata.

    4.1.4 Soyayya saboda kyawun halitta

     Ita kuma soyayya saboda kyawun halitta tana kulluwa ne ta dalilin son kyakkywar sura da namiji ko mace. Zakaga sau tari musamman maza sunason mace kyakkyawa wanda kuma munsan shi kyawu wani lokacin yana disashewa, bisa wannan dalilin ne zakaga wasu da kyawun ya disashe sai itama soyayya sai ta disashe saboda daman an gina tane bisa son kyawun sura.

    4.2 ALAMOMIN SOYAYYA

    1. KUNYA: Da zaran soyayya ta shiga ko da ace ba ayi ba, sai kunya ta shiga tsakanin masoyan sufara jin kunyar junansu idan sun hadu ko a kan hanya a ko makaranta ko a gida.

    2. YAWAN KALLO: Wanna ita ce babbar alama ta soyayya misali yana kallon abin son sa da zaran ya waiga ya ga masoyi ko ta ga masoyin da sun hada ido sai yayi sauri ya juya ya kauda kansa haka itama ba zata jure kallon saba saboda tsananin kunyarsa da takeyi a zuciyar ta hatta dan gidan su ta gani sai taji tamkar shi ne ta gani.

    3. FADUWAR GABA: A lokacin da soyayya ta shiga a zuciyar saurayi ko budurwa zaka samu da zaran sun hango junansu kowane sai gabansa ya fadi saboda tsananin kwarjini.

    4. TAUSAYI: Soyayya musaman ta gaskiya tana tare da tausayi hakan na haifar da damuwa ga masoya ko saurin kuka a gare su idan abin tausayi ya samesu musamman ma mata.

    5. YAWAN AMBATO: Mutukar saurayi ya shiga zuciyar budurwa ko budurwa ta shiga ran saurayi za su rinka ba da labarin junansu idan zai yi labari ko idan zata bada labari zata rinka kokari tana sa labarin saurayinta ko shima ya rinka bada labarin budurwar sa.

    4.3 Musayar Kalaman Soyayya na Maza da Mata

    4.3.1 Musayar kalaman soyayya na Maza

     1. Sakon barka da dare, zuwa ga sarauniya Fatima wacce nake qauna a raina, farin cikin zuciyata, zinariya ko in kiraki madubi abun haske zuciyata

     2. Sarauniya Fatima kamar yadda taurari ke yin haske gami da kyalli a sararin samaniya to haka fuskarki takeyin haske gami da kyalli a zuciyata

     3. Lallai ne nayi nisa da kea bar qaunata, amma a koda yaushe murmushinki yana bayyana ta wata hanya da Allah SWT ya sanya min ita a zuciya ta idan na ganta

    4.3.2 Musayar kalaman soyayya na Mata

     1. Sahibina sonka ya tsiru a cikin zuciyata, hakan ya sa nake kwana cikin tunaninka, ganin wannan kyakkyawan murmushinka da jin muryarka na zama takin dake karama sonka girma a cikin zuciyata a kowace rana, kahuta lafiya

     2. Sonka a cikin zuciyata ya zamto tamkar wani shukakken turare mai matukar kamshi da kyawun kallo, sonka ya kasance a cikin zuciya ta ta yarda tilas ya zama abu mai matukar wahala bazan taba mantawa dakai ba a rayuwata, ina sonka.

     3. A kullum burina bai wuce naga na mallakeki a matsayin miji uban yayana, na kasance tare da kai a cikin dare ko rana, san yi ko zafi mu rayu tare har abada ina sonka

    5.0 TUBALIN GINA SOYAYYA

    1. Tsoran Allah

    2. Hakuri

    3. Kunya

    4. Kulawa

    5. Rikon amana

    6. Tsafta

    7. Fadar gaskiya

    8. Kalaman soyayya

    9. Iya Magana

    10. Rikon alkawari

    11. Kishi

    12. Kwalliya

    SUNNONIN SOYAYYA

    1. Zuwa zance

    2. Kyauta

    3. Tattali

    4. Yabawa

    5. Tarairaya

    6. Kauda kai

    7. Mutunta juna

    MUSTAHABBAN SOYAYYA

    1. Iya kallon soyayya

    2. Dawainiya

    3. Mutunta dangin juna

    4. Iya tura sako a waya

    5. Yima juna murmushin soyayya

    7. Shagwaba

    6.0 SAKAMAKON BINCIKE

    Kamar yadda bayanai suka gabata a baya, wannan mukala ta ta allaka ne akan gano wasu muhimman sakonni kamar haka

    1. Ana yin yaudara ne domin cimma manufa

    2. Ana yin yaudara saboda kwajin abin duniya musamman ga iyayen mata

    3. Ana yin yaudara saboda rashin ilimin addini da na zamani ga matasa

    4. Samari suna son Yanmata kyawawa musamman yayan masu kudi sai su yaudare su domin kyawunsu ko domin kwadayinsu dukiya

    7.0 SHAWARWARI

    Shawarata a gareku matasa maza da mata kuyi soyayya dan Allah domin gujewa nadama ko da na sani wallahi wallahi soyayya babu abin da ya fita dadi a duniya matsawar ansa tsoron Allah da gaskiya a cikinta. Amma da zaran an sirkata da karya, yaudara to kullum kuma cikin bacin rai da damuwa, zaifi kyau ku gina soyayyarku akan turbar gaskiya da adalci domin cin ribar soyayya. Ina matukar jindadi idan naga masoya suna soyayya.

    8.0 KAMMALAWA

    Wannan mukala kamar yadda bayanai suka gabata wani yinkuri ne na gano yanda matasa maza da mata suke yaudarar junansu, da kuma dalilan da ya sa hakan ke faruwa sakamakon wanda yayi da wanda akayi mawa

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