Wannan na ɗaya daga cikin jerin rubuce-rubucen da Zauren Markazus Sunna ke samarwa kan batutuwa daban-daban da suka shafi rayuwar al’umma. A wannan karon rubutun ya shafi “Bambancin Sha’awa Da Soyayya” wanda Baban Manar Alƙasim ya rubuta
Bambancin Sha'awa Da Soyayya (Kashi na 04)
Baban Manar Alƙasim
Akwai wasu dalilai wadan da suke tunkudo matashi
zuwa ga soyayya, sai dai wasu ba su cika kula da su ba, bari dai mu yi ƙoƙarin lissafa su
kamar haka:-
a) Ƙarancin tausasa wa matashi a tsakanin uwaye yana ba
da gagarumar gudummuwa wajen karkatatar da shi zuwa ga inda yake zaton zai dan
sami tausasawa, idan ya kasance ba wani mai sakewa da shi, sai ya sami wanda
zai zauna da shi na tsawon lokaci, ya nuna masa cewa yana ma son ya kasance
tare da shi kowani lokaci, dole ya karkata inda hankalinsa zai kwanta, masamman
yadda halittar namiji take buƙatar ta mace, ita ma ta macen take buƙatar ta namiji,
in suka hadu sai soyayyar ta taƙaitu wajen biyan abin da aka rasa a baya, a
maimakon saƙa rayuwar da za ta dore har abada.
b) Karkata ta dabi'a wajen wani jinsi na daban
sakamakon canjin da aka samu na physiology ga matasa, matasanta a kowani lokaci
ba ta kama da yaranta, to ko yara ne akan sami irin wannan shaƙuwar ta buƙatar wani
jinsi, a dazu na ji wani uba yana cewa: Uwar dansa ta roƙe shi minti
guda daya ya hana ta, amma ya dauki jakar kacokan ya miƙa wa wata
yarinya, matashi shi ya fi buƙatar wani jinsi don sanyaya wa rayuwarsa.
c) Gasa a tsakanin matasa takan kawo kusantar
jinsuna, sau da yawa wani lokaci matasa in sun ga wata mace sukan taya wa
junansu wanda zai iya magana da ita, akan lura da aji, ko hasken fata, ko
matsayi da dai sauransu, saurayi bai son a ce duk tsararrakinsa suna da
'yammata sai shi kadai, in ma shi bai nema ba abokansa za su matsa masa, a irin
wannan yanayi bai shirya kusantar wani jinsi ba amma rayuwa ta tilasta shi.
d) Tasirantuwa da littafan soyayya, fima-fimai na
soyayyan da na batsa sukan sanya matashi ya buƙaci wani jinsi
wanda ba na sa ba, galibin abubuwan da suke nunawa da wahala su faru a irin
wannan surar, yadda masoyi zai watsar da komai na rayuwarsa a kan wanda yake ƙauna, har ya
zama kamar bai da wani abin yi sama da buƙatuwarsa da
masoyinsa, sai matashi ya fara tsammanin cewa shi ma in ya yi masoyi haka za ta
wakana, sai ya yi ƙoƙarin jarrabawa, zai kuma buƙaci soyayyar ta
yi daidai da wace yake karantawa ko yake gani, duk kuwa da cewar ko su masu
fima-fiman sukan sami matsala a rayuwar aurensu.
e) Wani lokacin kuma matashi yakan yi zaton cewa
yanzu fa ya girma, bai kamata a ce babba kamarsa bai da budurwa ba, ko ita
macen ta riƙa jin cewa ita ma fa ta girma, soyayya kuma ita
take tantance girma da yaranta, masamman wannan zamani na waya, da za ka ji ana
magana ana dararraku, wani lokaci a yi ta danne-danne ga waya, ana hira da
budurwa ko saurayi, za ka riski cewa wace ta girma ba matayi takan yi ta kuka
cikin dare, gami da salloli da roƙon Allah, ƙaramar da ba
saurayi kuma a kira ta bera! . Soyayyar ƙuruciya tana da
tasirori da dama, da kuma abubuwan da suke alamta tunkudarta ga matashi,
misali:- a) Yawon da tunani yake yi wa matashi, galibi kwalliyar masoyi yake
tasowa a duk lokacin da matashi yake kadaita, kamar ni dai lallen da mace take
yi yana saye imani na, wani kuwa sam bai ƙaunarsa, yana
da abin da yake ba shi sha'awa, kuma zai riƙa satar
kallonsa a jikinta, duk in ya kadaita sai ya riƙa dawo da shi
yana tunaninsa, ita ma budurwar da abin da take kallo, tun ma ba ita ba, don
tana iya bata komai a dalilin wannan tunanin, wata ƙila ma ta rame
kamar mai rashin lahiya.
b) Mafi yawan abin da yake tsakanin matasan buƙatuwar juna ce,
kowa yana fatar a ce ga ranar da jikin masoyinsa zai halasta masa, don ya jima
yana kallon gabobin da suke motsa sha'awarsa, in da za su zauna yau na tsawon
lokaci, ba zai hana su buƙaci zama nan gaba ba, don ba zaman da buƙatarsu take
biya, kuma ba za su iya haƙura da juna ba har sai buƙata ta biya,
irinsa ne in ya zo da tsautsayi sai ka ga ciki ya bulla wajen wace ba a taba
zato ba, to soyayyar ƙuruciya ta yi tasiri.
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HAUSA: Kuna iya rubuto mana tsokaci ko tambayoyi a ƙasa. Tsokacinku game da abubuwan da muke ɗorawa shi zai tabbatar mana cewa mutane suna amfana da wannan ƙoƙari da muke yi na tattaro muku ɗimbin ilimummuka a wannan kafar intanet.