Wannan na ɗaya daga cikin jerin rubuce-rubucen da Zauren Markazus Sunna ke samarwa kan batutuwa daban-daban da suka shafi rayuwar al’umma. A wannan karon rubutun ya shafi “Bambancin Sha’awa Da Soyayya” wanda Baban Manar Alƙasim ya rubuta.
Bambancin Sha'awa Da Soyayya (Kashi na 07)
Baban Manar Alƙasim
6) Na ƙarshe ita ce
salwatacciyar soyayya, mun kira ta salwatacciya ne domin rashin tabbacinta,
takan yi kyau in aka yi dace, har ma ka ga an yi aure, an kuma zauna lafiya,
amma sauda yawa ba ta ba da abin da ake nema, ita ce soyayyar da aka ƙulla ta a
hanyoyin sadarwa, irinsu Imo, 2go, Facebook, whatsapp da sauransu, galibi
wannan ya taƙaitu ne da hotunan da matan suke liƙawa, hoto kuwa
kamar hawainiya ne, canzawa yake yi, wace take baƙa ƙirin tana iya
zama fara fat a hoto, shi ya sa wata yarinya ta taba ce min "Kar ka taba
yarda da hoton mace!" Maganarta kam gaskiya ce.
Shari'a ta gindaya cewa kar namiji ya fara neman
mace sai ya gan ta, Annabi SAW ya tambayi wani sahabinsa da Abu Huraira ya ce:-
" ﻛﻨﺖ ﻋﻨﺪ ﺍﻟﻨﺒﻲ ﺻﻠﻰ ﺍﻟﻠﻪ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﻭﺳﻠﻢ ﻓﺄﺗﺎﻩ ﺭﺟﻞ ﻓﺄﺧﺒﺮﻩ ﺃﻧﻪ ﺗﺰﻭﺝ ﺍﻣﺮﺃﺓ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻷﻧﺼﺎﺭ ، ﻓﻘﺎﻝ ﻟﻪ ﺭﺳﻮﻝ ﺍﻟﻠﻪ ﺻﻠﻰ ﺍﻟﻠﻪ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﻭﺳﻠﻢ : ( ﺃﻧﻈﺮﺕ ﺇﻟﻴﻬﺎ ؟ ) ﻗﺎﻝ : ﻻ ، ﻗﺎﻝ : ( ﻓﺎﺫﻫﺐ ﻓﺎﻧﻈﺮ ﺇﻟﻴﻬﺎ ﻓﺈﻥ ﻓﻲﻋﻴﻦ ﺍﻷﻧﺼﺎﺭ ﺷﻴﺌﺎً) . Ina tare da Annabi SAW sai wani mutum ya zo ya
gaya masa cewa ya auri wata 'yar Madina, sai Annabi SAW ya ce: Ya dube ta? Ya
ce: A'a, Annabi SAW ya ce "Tafi ka gan ta, akwai wani abu a idon 'yan
Madina" Muslim. Akwai hikima ƙwarai a cikin
maganar Annabi SAW don wani abokina ya same ni cikin damuwa, ya daure dai ya yi
magana da ni ko zai sami mafita.
Ya ce: Sun hadu ne a facebook da wata yarinya, tun
ana rubutu har ya kai ga yin magana da juna ta waya, soyayya ta yi ƙarfin gaske a
tsakaninsu, ta tsawon shekara 2, har ya yi ma ta alƙawarin aure,
amma da ya sami ganinta sai ya isko ta baƙa, ba ma baƙin kawai ba ya
ce ba ta yi masa ba, nan take soyayyar da take ta ƙonuwa a
zuciyarsa ta bice gaba daya, ya ce to ya zai yi yanzu, abinka da Bazamfare
kawai sai na ce ya rabu da ita, zafin da za ta ji na 'yan kwanukka ne kawai, ya
fi sauƙi da a ce ya aure ta alhali ba ya son ta, in hakan
ta faru za ta yi shekaru tana jin zafin abin. Babbar matsalar da take tattare
da irin wannan soyayyar takan damfara ne gaba dayanta a kan sha'awa, za a yi ta
zaton cewa soyayya ce, amma a kuma ba ita ba ce, domin sau da yawa samarin za
ka taras abin da yake gaya wa wannan shi yake gaya wasu, shi da kansa bai dauke
ta a matsayin masoyiya ba, sha'awa ce kawai, ko kuma rage lokaci kamar yadda
suke fadi, masamman in ka ga irin hotunan da matan suke sakawa na jan hankali,
da irin maganganun da samarin suke yi na ƙoƙarin mallake
zuciyoyin matan.
Irin wannan salwatacciyar soyayyan tana da wasu
tasirori da bambance-bambance da sauran kashe-kashen soyayyan ba su da su,
domin:-
a) Takan taƙaita sau da
yawa a kan yaudara, ko dai ya kasance ita macen tana da wanda za ta aura, ko
shi namijin ya kusa aure, suna magana da juna ne kawai don dauko hankalin juna,
da wahala ka ga wani daga cikinsu ya fadi ainihin sirrinsa ga wanda yake fadin
cewa masoyinsa ne, za dai a yi ta yaudarar juna a haka, har dai sha'awar juna
ta ƙullu a
tsakaninsu, wani lokaci ma a yi ta batsa da fadin masha'a da sunan soyayya.
b) Ba ta bayyanar da mutum a kan haƙiƙaninsa, kowa ya
shaƙu da juna ne a
balangaice, ba wani dalili da ya ja hankalinka har ka yarda da ita, ko ita din
ta yarda da kai, ba wanda ya san halin juna, ko tsarin halittarsa, ko yadda ya
tarbiyantu a gida, to bare a yi tunanin yadda za a tafiyar da diyoyi nan gaba,
sha'awa ce kawai ta son biya wa juna buƙata ake yi ma
ta fassarar soyayya, da a ce soyayyar ce ta zahiri da wahala in ka ga wanda
kake raya cewa kana mutuwar ƙaunarsa ka baudare masa, ka ce kuma bai yi maka ba.
c) In da abin ya fi sharri, wani lokaci namiji ne
yake dauke da sunan mata, shi ma wani ne da yake ganin shi malami ne yakan yi
shigar burtu don ya gano ko wani da suke yi masa zaton alkhairi yana mu'amalla
da 'yammata, in mutum ya ji dadin haka sai ka ga yana sato hoton wata yarinya
yana sakawa a matsayin ita ce take hira da samari, alhali wani ƙaton dan daudu
ne, wasu sun sha gaya min cewa ka yi hankali da wance, ba mace ba ce wane ne,
ga dalilin da yake son ya yi magana da kai, akan yi soyayya da su sosai, sukan
zabi irin maganganun da za su gaya wa wani sakaran, ko kuwa su riƙa kwafo
hirarrakinsu da 'yammatansu suna saka masa, wani lokaci su nemi na credit din
wayoyinsu.
d) Matan aure ma suna shigowa, su kwashi rayuwarsu
da wasu mazan, sau da yawa ba sa fadin cewa su matan aure ne, sai sun kai
matsayin da samarin suka fara neman su hadu don ganin juna ƙeƙe da ƙeƙe ko tunanin
yadda za a fassara soyayyar zuwa ga aure, wani lokacin matan sukan fadi cewa
gaskiya su matan aure ne, amma suna neman wanda zai riƙa debe musu
haso ne kawai a yanar gizo, kenan ba soyayya ba ce saƙa yanar sha'awa
kawai ake yi ta hanyar yaudarar juna, ko dai namijin ya nemi su hadu, ko in
sha'awar ta yi yawa ita macen ta yi ƙoƙarin biyan buƙatarta da shi,
duk kuwa da cewa tana da aurenta. A nan zan dakata. Sai mun haɗu a rubutu na
gaba.
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HAUSA: Kuna iya rubuto mana tsokaci ko tambayoyi a ƙasa. Tsokacinku game da abubuwan da muke ɗorawa shi zai tabbatar mana cewa mutane suna amfana da wannan ƙoƙari da muke yi na tattaro muku ɗimbin ilimummuka a wannan kafar intanet.