Wannan na É—aya daga cikin jerin rubuce-rubucen da Zauren Markazus Sunna ke samarwa kan batutuwa daban-daban da suka shafi rayuwar al’umma. A wannan karon rubutun ya shafi “Bambancin Sha’awa Da Soyayya” wanda Baban Manar AlÆ™asim ya rubuta.
Bambancin Sha'awa Da Soyayya (Kashi na 20)
Baban Manar Alƙasim
Dole ne a rayuwar aure, ko na ce a zamantakewar
ma'aurata kowa ya san iyakarsa, babban abin da yake yawan kawo wa ma'aurata
matsaloli a yau, masamman matasa shi ne wayewar da aka cakuda ta da addini, sai
ta ba da wata fahimta mai zaman kanta, wace ita ce take wargaza gida a yau, na
cewa ba dole ba ne mace ta yi wa namiji hidima, har ma ta kai ga cewa in dai ta
dafa masa abinci to ta taimake shi ne, amma ba dole ba ne, ba shi a cikin
abubuwan da suka wajaba ta yi masa, wata ma ta ce min hatta ayyukan gida sai in
ta ga dama ta yi masa. To a matsayina na malamin makaranta, manya-manyan
matsalolin da na riƙa samu, na gano cewa ƙarancin hidima
yana daya dagà cikiñ musà bbabañ, masamman 'ya'yan masu hali, da wadan da suka
auri maza masu kudi, da gangan wata take ƙin yin wani abu
tunanin cewa ba dole ba ne a kanta, abinci sai dai ma'aikata su dafa su kai
masa ita tana kwance, da safe sai ya shirya ya fita ba ta farka ba balle ta yi
masa ina kwana, dan dama-dama ma yanzu da aka mai da su direbobi, suna kai yara
makaranta da dan sauƙi.
Na yi rayuwa da wata 'yar babban sarki na ga
abubuwan ban al'ajabi, na farko dai mahaifinta babban sarki ne kuma mai hannu
da shuni ne, maigidanta da sauran 'yan uwanta manyan mutane ne, wato dai ga
kudi ga mulki, amma abin mamaki, duk in za mu fita da'awa da ita muke fita,
kuma ba ka isa ka bambance ta daga cikin sauran malamai mata a sutura ko a magana
ba, duk wani aiki na hannu da ita ake yi, wato abin da nake so na fada shi ne:
Ba wani aiki da yake da alaƙa da mijinta wanda ta bar wani ya shiga tsakiya wai
da suna dan aikin gida, duk da waÉ—annan abubuwan da Allah ya tara ma ta bai hana ta
yin hidimar gidanta ba, wasu ma na waje ta yi musu irin wannan aikin to bare
maigidanta? Sai wannan ya tuno min da Fatima RA, diyar ma'aikin Allah SWA. Lokacin
da ta nemi a ba ta wani bawa ya riƙa taimaka ma ta
don hannunta har ya yi kirci sabo da aikin gida, amma manzon Allah SAW sai ya ƙarfafa ta
kawai, bai turo ma ta ba, ita ta riƙa yin hidimarta
da hannunta RA, wannan shi ne babban misali, diyar ma'aikin Allah RA wace ya fi
ƙauna saman
kowa, sai kuma yayar matarsa, wato Asma' bnt Abibakar RA, ita gona take tafiya
na tsawon sama da kilo 2, ta dauko abincin dabbobi ta dawo, bar batun nisa ko
in ta dawo ga wahalhalun dafa abinci, kanta sai da ya yi kora don tsabar daukar
kaya, duk da haka ba ta gajiya ba wajen yi wa mijinta hidima, duk wahalar da za
ta sha ba ta taba wasa da abin da ta san zai sanya mijinta kishi ba, matan
Annabi SAW kuwa har rige-rige suke yi wajen dafa masa abinci, wani sa'inma har
kishi yakan bayyana don dai wata tana so a ci na ta.
Da irin wannan ne za mu fahimci dalilin da ya sa
uwayemmu suke yi wa diyoyinsu fada da guje wa ƙazanta, ƙiwa (ƙyuya) da
kasala, sai kuma yi na yi bari na bari, a fahimtarsu wannan shi ne aure, kuma
in ka lura da kyau masu da'awar soyayya a yau babban abin da suka rasa kenan,
sai suka mayar da soyayyar aure wasannin motsa sha'awa, hirarrakin batsa,
dararraku da saduwar aure, waÉ—annan duk suna fassara sha'awa ne, wasu ma sukan yi
duka ko galibinsu tun kafin a kai ga daura auren, kuma dai da sunan soyayya. A
lokacin da wasu zarafofin suka datso tsakiya sai ka ga zamantakewar ta fara
tangal-tangal, masamman in ya kasance duk matasa ne, ko na ce sababbin hannu
ne, sau da yawa ita macen ba ta iya jure canje-canjen da take gani yanzu, tun
ma ba in ta tuna yadda ake yi ma ta kafin aure, ko kwanakin farko na
shigowarta, shi ma mijin in ya duba wahalhalun da yake sha a waje, da irin
rashin godiyarta a kan duk abin da yake ma ta, sai ka ga ya fusata, to ita kuma
dama jiransa take yi, don duk abin da yake yi ma ta a baya, ko wadan da ya ce
zai yi ma ta a yanzu duk ba su take gani ba, kasancewar ba ta san abubuwan da
suke faruwa a waje ba wajen nemo musu kayayyakin more rayuwa sai ta auka masa,
shi kuma sai ya huce a kanta, kun ga an sami matsala kenan.
To daga yanzu dai za a fahimci cewa aure ko zamansa
addini ne, Allah SW shi ya tsara haka, ba zabin namiji ba ne ya iya raba mace
da uwayenta da sauran ƙawaye, ya kai ta cikin wani dangi wanda ba na ta
ba, daganan kuma ta fara wata sabuwar rayuwa, don haka duk munanawar da zai yi
ma ta, kar ta bari wannan ta yi ma ta tasiri a zamanta da shi, ta sani cewa
Allah SAW ya umurce ta da zama da shi gami da kyautata masa, in shi ma ya maido
ma ta da irin kyautatawar da take masa ya sauke nauyi, in kuma ya ƙiya ita dai ta
yi na ta, in kuma ta biye masa to ba shakka za ta rusa gidanta, sannan ga
haduwa da fushin mahalicci. Shi ma namijin ya yi duk irin wannan tunanin, ya
tuna cewa shi fa har yanzu yana cikin 'yan uwansa ne, ita ce ya raba ta da na
ta, ya gane cewa dole ta dauki tsawon lokaci kafin ta bar halayyar da aka haifo
ta har ta girma a ciki, kar da ta dan yi wani abu ya auka ma ta, ya gane cewa
akwai bambanci tsakanin namiji da mace har a wurin tunani da aiki, ga kuma
bambancin shekaru na rayuwar makaranta gami da hada-hada da dai sauransu, ko
zaman gida ma da rashin bude idanu wajen yin ma'amalla da mabambantan jama'a ya
isa a riƙa yankan musu hanzari, sau da yawa sukan munana wa
masoyi amma ƙaunarsa tana nan a ƙumshe a
zuciyarsu, ba ka ganin in ya sake su sukan yi kuka? A nan zan dakata. Sai mun
haÉ—u a rubutu na
gaba.
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HAUSA: Kuna iya rubuto mana tsokaci ko tambayoyi a ƙasa. Tsokacinku game da abubuwan da muke ɗorawa shi zai tabbatar mana cewa mutane suna amfana da wannan ƙoƙari da muke yi na tattaro muku ɗimbin ilimummuka a wannan kafar intanet.