My Pregnant Wife

 ME AND MY PREGNANT WIFE 🤰

I thought they said pregnant women starts nagging at the 5th month or so but I wonder why my wife's own started on the very first day she came home with the pregnancy result which shows she's just two weeks pregnant 🤰, that day she refused to cook and I asked her why and she said she can't cook because she's pregnant, I found it funny and laughed "Two weeks pregnant?? And you can't cook? Hahaha" she started crying saying I was laughing at her condition, I tried to apologize but she over reacted that day, she went as far as calling my mother on phone telling her I am not showing concern about her pregnancy, my mom called me and warn me never to neglect her and urge me to spend more time with her until she delivers.

Ok... That was how I turned into my wife's house help, although I can't cook but I learnt it by force.. I can now cook, I washed and she still nags and complains, I turned into a decorator, I decorate the room for her like this now, she loves it, in the next five minutes she hates it and I have to decorate it with another style, she can wake me up at midnight to make her tea, Sometimes A.C will be on but she'll prefer me fanning her with hand fan, chei! Me John, I don see things! I asked my married friends "Is this how your wives behave when they gets pregnant?" They laughed and never gave me an answer. 

Ok now she's on her seventh month and I was doing all I could to make sure she's happy and never complain. 

We spent the day all happy ,took a walk, eat together and I spent the entire day cracking jokes for her, she was very happy that she forgot to nag nor complain, then we went to bed....

I get hot water ready just incase she requests for tea at midnight, I have all kinds of fruit and foods stored in the fridge just incase she ask for any. 

After that.. I lay down beside her. 

"Pheew" I exhaled, If I could keep everyday like this she won't be nagging anymore. 

I was very happy because I finally find a way to keep her happy and entertained and most of all save myself from her nags. Now everything is perfect. I slept off beside her happily. 

At around 2:00 am she wakes me up :

ME: Do you want to drink tea? 

SHE : No

ME: Fruits? 

SHE : No 

ME: Oh... Food, which one will I bring? 

SHE: I'm not hungry I don't want any food. 

Wooow! I couldn't believe my ears, she doesn't want to eat anything? then let me continue my peaceful sleep. What a lovely day and a lovely night. 

Not long after, she wakes me again and asked 

SHE : Honey

ME: yes

SHE : Do you know that petrol station called Bovas along Onward road?

ME : yes, what happened to it? 

SHE: Take me there I need to smell their fuel".

.I weak 😭🤦🏾‍♂️🤰