Why a 1 Man, 4 Wives Lives Longer than a 1 Man, 1 Wife

The One man, One wife concept of marriage is mostly associated with the west, and not necessarily with Christianinty. For in the whole of the Bible, there's no where it is stated by Jesus or God that a man should marry only one wife i.e. monogamy.

In Islam however, it is caregorically stated in the Qur'an that a man can marry 2, 3 or 4 wives if he can deal justly between them. If not, he is duly injuncted to restrict himself to marrying and staying with only 1 wife. That is the best option and recommendation for him.

So, many are often left wondering how a man can cope with managing the marital affairs of four women concurrently, whereas it is obvious living with one wife seems to be such a handful for most husbands to deal with. For some men, relating to even half a woman is way too much or even impossible.

A young married woman and a mother once asked me why are men such a stubborn lot? Some know very well one woman is too much for them to handle as a wife, yet they will against all odds go ahead to marry more than a she, biting more than their mouths can chew.

My answer though simple, yet shocked and confused her. I said "Because they want to live long." "What!? What do you mean?" I laughed at her wonder and said further, "A man is never truly free and liberated, unless and until he's married to two wives or more."

"Can you please explain?" she curiously demanded. So I obliged her and two other women sitting at a table where we just finished a meeting. The ladies stopped all they were doing and listened to my explanation. 

With all eyes and ears on me, I told them first and foremost it was a personal opinion based on observations by myself and many others. So, only researches by social scientists can truly ascertain the veracity of the postulations, therefore they should not take it as sacrosanct truth. They agreed and I commenced.

My scoop goes like this: 

WITH ONE WIFE; When a man is married to only one wife, all her focus, attention seeking, emotions, feelings, nagging, worries, troubles, fights and so on are heaped 100% upon her husband. So he ends up bearing the brunt of her anger, frustrations, annoyance, unhappiness, discontentments, disappointments and more.

ENTER WIFE NO. 2; Here it is strongly advised that no one should dare marry a second wife unless he is financially capable. When that happens, the assumption is that two wives will produce two versions of the 100% issues he was facing married to just one wife, right? But No! He doesn't get 200% nagging but 75% only.

Women being what they are, the first wife will take about 25% of her precious time, her moods swings and her monitoring off her husband and invest it in watching and studying closely the new wife. So instead of receiving 100%, the husband would end up with less, only 75% of her usual qualms.

Next if he should marry WIFE NO. 3, again many erroneously think the man will have three times the troubles of the one wife. But fortunately again the answer is no. The first wife would again take another 25% emotional wahala from the remaining 75% she's been giving her husband and place it on the third wife.

So, the man now would "enjoy" only 50% of his first wife's initial tantrums. And her primary engagement would no more be her husband, but how to counter all the good treatments the two other wives are now metting out to their husband. Survival strategies would now be employed by her rather engage in conflicts with him.

Knowing well now he has options, choices and alternatives, her monopoly over him becomes broken, over for good. She has to restrategize if she must remain relevant in the scheme of things in the household she helped to painstakingly build and sustain. Otherwise, she might end up with...what?

By the time WIFE NO. 4 steps in, the remaining 50% headaches she has been visiting her husband with would reduce further down to only 25%, if she's a troublesome one. Otherwise she will trade it off and seek the backing of her husband to be duly respected by the whole family as the next in importance and respect.

At this stage, the competition would have become so high that collaborations and alliances are being forged between like-minded parties in the marital system. Each of the four wives would be making all efforts to ensure she's her husband's favorite wife, pushing the agenda of maximally developing her children.

The man would end up being pampered left, right and center. That fear of being neglected in old age so often told by many men with one wife and her grown up children tend to be duly and grossly reduced to a minute few, if not eliminated. And how, is that achieved? 

Well, where the first wife's children have become men and women and are into taking care of their mother at the expense of the father, and he is left at the pity and mercy of retirement and irrelevance, possibly all alone, left to waste, to root away, uncared for, a man with 2-3 other wives is safe from senior bachelorhood again..

This is because the other wives and their children, some very young and vulnerable to life challenges wouldn't want their children to become orphans and they in turn, widows with uncertain futures. So, you will find them daily praying for long life and prosperity of the man. In fact, some of the wives become nicer to the husband, where any find him unwanted.

Each woman will want her own children to grow up into young men and women too, for each to become a graduate too, each to get a job and become stable too like the children of the first wife. So, the wives of the man will keep the fire of hope, motivation and longevity burning for their husband.

Same thing with the kids. Where the older ones have matured and ventured off into life and its many offers, the little ones in the household will still find it fulfilling to call that old man their father and wish him well always. Show him off to others in the neighborhood be as their dad, even if he is old. He is still better than having no father.

They would treat him with so much love and respect, and supplicate to Allaah SWT to guide, protect and provide him with the means with which to keep their family going, until they too have all attained the age of full maturity and become forces to reckon with in society. Then some of them will keep coming back to visit him, show him gratitude and affection.

It is mostly in cases of a one man, one wife that you will see pitiable and spent old men who have spent their whole life raising kids, who will end up abandoning him to a miserable life of hardship and loneliness in his dieing days. You will see him in tarters, doing his laundry, cooking his meal, tending to his ailments and so on.

But with a one man 2, 3 or 4 wives, love, care, concern and well wishes among other goodness are always there for him to bask in till the man breaths his last. Research findings have duly confirmed this to be absolutely true. 

So, don't be caught napping, if you wish to be duly honored in your later and final days, marry more than one wife as permitted by Allaah SWT. All the best in your search for a good one.

From the Archive of:

Malam Muhammad Tajajjini Tijjani
Imel: mmtijjani@gmail.com
Lambar Waya: +2348067062960

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