The Poet
Khadijah Muzzammil Hanga was born on the 10th of August in Kano State, Nigeria. She majored in Computer Science at Undergraduate, Software Development at the Masters level, and a PhD in Data Analytics and Artificial Intelligence. A member of the Association of Nigerian Authors (ANA), she has a penchant for writing and reciting poetry. She has one major publication and a collection of unpublished anthologies under different titles.
The Poem
ANYONE SEEN MY KETCHUP?
Anyone seen my ketchup ?
My fries are creasing and
So are my sausages too.
Anyone seen my ketchup ?
It perfect with my dinner
And with my taste buds too.
Anyone seen my ketchup ?
It’s sweet, it’s tangy
And flavourful too.
Anyone seen my ketchup ?
It’s red, it’s brown
It’s burgundy too.
Anyone seen my ketchup ?
It’s chubby and squishy
And gloppy too.
Anyone seen my ketchup ?
It’s mischievous and cheeky
Especially when it’s almost gone.
Anyone seen my ketchup ?
It farts, it splats
With each squeeze.
Buuut buububut buuut
That’s the sound it makes.
Anyone seen my ketchup ?
My tummy is starting to rumble
I really need it bad.
Anyone seen my ketchup?
It’s not in the fridge, not in the cupboard
Not under my pillow too.
Anyone seen my ketchup?
It’s not with mummy, not with daddy
Not with baby too.
Anyone seen my ketchup?
Dear me
There it is
Lying lifeless
In the kitchen bin
It’s empty
It’s finished
I am finished too.
Mummy! Daddy!
Help!
I need ketchup now...
The Story
The poem was inspired by a real home incident and by a poem my daughter studied in school.
It happens that there’s always a bit of drama in my house when the kids want to use ketchup at breakfast or any time of the day, it’s either the ketchup bottle disappears from the fridge, or it plays hide and seek or worst of all, it’s lying empty in the bin. It’s annoying and at the same time funny (all thanks to our carelessness). Initially I thought it would be silly to write something about it, but after hearing James Carter’s poem , “Anyone seen my dragon?”, I thought it might not be a bad idea.
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